Friday, August 04, 2006

Hello...Is there anybody out there? I can't be all alone in this. Wish I had some girlfriends who were in the same place as me. I feel old around young people and hopelessly not grown-up around "real couples." We aren't really established yet. My husband is working on his doctorate and I don't have a clue what I want to do. Other couples with kids make me feel insecure. I feel like everyone can see what a joke I am, whereas they have it all under control. I try to remind myself that we won't be struggling students forever. HAHA! I'm not even a student. I want so badly to be the best mom ever. I love my daughter so much. Could it ever be enough to be just a mom? I don't think so, but what else is there. How does anyone ever decide what to do with their life?...or am I already choosing motherhood by default?

Thursday, August 03, 2006

I smell like sour milk and desperation...my new signature scent. I suppose most new moms feel something like this. I got two words into this post, then my 5-month old daughter returned her entire breakfast to me. When I got up to change us both, thinking,"but, it took time to feed you that," I managed to ever-so-gracefully pull the power cord out of the laptop. Oh, another day. I walk around accomplishing trivial tasks , making small talk, does anyone ever notice that I'm just a shell on auto-pilot? Gotta go...my daughter just refreshed my perfume...and it's leaking down my leg.